Monday, November 28, 2011

Not Thankful....F Mondays

Currently the things im not thankful for......

1. Dishes - I love volunteering at the women's shelter but afterward i have to do all the dishes from breakfast.  I think anyone that has worked in the restaurant business realizes that dishes suck, and if i could live off of using us paper plates without feel like white trash i would.

2. Roller bags in the Metro - i get the need for people to have them but in the morning, i am not okay with tripping on them or you holding up the walking speed, its like driving slow in the fast lane with your blinkers on, i kind of want to murder you with a rusty spoon (figure it out).

3. Hand holding - my job essentially consists of hand holding and yes im a hand whore for money, i will hold hands and white (meant to say wipe but its a funny typo) noses, however, i shouldnt have to do this in everyday life.  Unless your paying me i shouldn't have to rally anyone to do things they are just suppose to do.  It like o yeah you want me to organize a vacation but you dont want to answer any of my emails, texts or calls and you want to back out the last minute...i mean ewww.. just do what you said you were going to do.

4. 50+ or any male i dont know randomly calling me his queen, princess or anything else that belongs in a disney movie.  It just makes me feel like your a bad priest and im an alter boy... just dont do it. 

5. The Phrase ... White side... as in O Staki your White Side is showing... in a disgusted voice... there are def two ways to say this phrase and the one where someone wrinkles there nose in disgust when i talk about white water rafting or listening to rock music.  Fucking news flash I am 50/50 which means you will see both sides, sometimes at the same fucking time.  Do see only the choc or only the vanilla of an oreo... on top of that im like an oreo that grew up in milk... you cant get around it and neither can i, for the record i am equally proud of both sides of my race and trust me both sides fuck up and have embrassing factors about them.  So dont get pissed when i tell you your ignorant side is showing.

6. Repu... well anyone that cant see the irony in saying they are God Fearing than refusing to give universal health care

7. Inherent societal male superiority
-contrary to popular belief you cant decide whether i have a baby or not.. im not an incubator... you can give abortion legistation when we can decide all of you should be circumsized
-If you and your wife both work full time jobs, then you can share the housework and child rearing equally
-Boys will not be named after you until you grow it and push it out
-women dont get points for staying with their kids so neither should you
-the fact that all cultures no matter how poor or oppressed can still make sure the women in all of them are inferior is just fucking stupid... you lift things and take out the trash... we create life so fuck you

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Comfortable Dying Alone

I am a single 28 year old women with no prospective "husband" in the future and I think my biological clock is broken.  O yeah and i own a cat which might be important in this scenario.  But despite all this, i don't feel the need to watch a Sara McLaughlin SPCA commercial and slit my wrists in a half full lukewarm tub.

So reasons i will probably die alone and happy.

1. BLACK WOMAN - For the purpose of dating, I'm a black women which comes with its own type of stereotypes because despite growing up in a white household.  I am told i still have the black women, no nonsense attitude and to the majority men... that means I'm difficult and hard to deal with, if you don't believe me there are plenty charicatures of me "angry black woman" in TV, movies and commercials. There are men that appreciate this but did you hear, black women like that can’t get a husband. We can just forget that it’s this type of strength that kept the black people going, through  slavery and the civil rights but who's counting such things. So I’m just going to use my "black woman" attitude to get what i want out of life.

2. EMOTIONALLY IMPOTENT - I can’t get it up when i need it but it likes to pop up at times when not needed.  I kind of have a dude mentality.  I can be the best gf ever (and have been) but why and to who. Who are you to deserve  my all.  I was in a relationship with what is perhaps my soul mate for 6 years and he screwed that up so....i tried twice after that and not only did the two others stomp on my heart but they threw it in the octagon with Brock Lesner.  So now anytime things get to close i back off ...that and my complete loathing of cuddling and hand holding... I’m pretty much a dude.  However this impotence helps me in never being stuck in a bad marriage which let’s be honest is worse than single.  O that and i can (safely) do who i want when i want and have the bed to myself. 

3. HIGH STANDARDS - i am not asking for perfection I’m asking for bare minimums, bring to the table what i bring so we can be equals.  If you’re in your 30s, have no job, no path, huge amounts of debt, a bunch of kids and no passion than you’re not for me and that’s okay. That and i need you to be a man....there are so many man-bitches out here i cant stand it.   I’m also not into changing people because if you don’t love my crazy you don’t love me.  I won’t try to change you if you don’t try to change me.  Settling is never a good thing and how can you be happy with something you never really wanted.

What it comes down to is why settle ....just to not be alone.  I have a great life with wonderful people, a good job, volunteer work i enjoy and goals.  Why complicate that if unnecessary.  If i find someone that is worth my emotions I’m all in, but I’m sick of seeing people in horrible relationships trying so hard to make everyone believe they are happy.  Your FB statuses aren’t fooling anyone.

My friends are convinced i won’t die alone and if not that's cool but if i do at least i can say i lived my life to the fullest and I’m happy. 

Monday, August 22, 2011

HO-tastic

Okay so seriously i think its time something was explained to me.  Are women out there giving blow-jobs out for free?  As a single women i have noticed that straight men seem to think it is acceptable to ask for a blow-job like they used to ask for a first kiss.  The only thing i can conclude from this, is women are out there doing this.

So i want to know at what point did single women become porn stars.  I became okay with men i was dating watching porn when i realized ... shit... im not going to do that.  So asking me to blow you before we've even kissed, fuck, asking me to blow you before your considered a boyfriend is pretty much the same as saying, hey girl i know we've only been talking to each other for a week or so but do you mind if i come on your face after my friends and i take turn stick our dicks in your holes (okay a little extreme).  But seriously....seriously?

The only reason men would act this way is if someone made them think it was okay.  When i tell a guy that i dont do that unless im in a committed relationship they act that i have two heads.  But im like, i dont have sex unprotected so y would i stick that in my mouth, i dont even know you.  I dont even like to touch rails on the metro escalators!!!

There are of course exceptions to every rule and every women or man has there ho-tastic moments, with chemistry and all but in general, i have been happily out of a serious relationship for 2 years and i still dont understand y it is okay for a man to ask me to give him gold for a dollar.  What happened to earning certain privileges.

But seriously i dont think these men go down on women as much as they expect women to slob them.  As my friend Carlesa puts it, could you imagine how a man would act if a women in the middle of a make out session started pushing his head down and was like yeah handle that!  They would freak out, lol, actually for a fact i know they do lmfao.  But anyway, maybe im just talking to all the wrong guys but i see this tread and it freaks me out.


I am confident in the fact that me being single does not rest on my ability to blow a guy in 2 days or less.  If they cant wait well that's there problem but there is this thing about STDs, im not a fan and as much as possible i would like to avoid them.  I mean shit, HPV infects through skin on skin contact and 3 out of 4 people have it, if you dont believe me look it up.  Its crazy out there and I for one dont run into traffic unless i have to.


America Home of the Selfish

So i recently had the pleasure of hanging out with a doctor from Luxembourg (look it up).  Some of the things that shock him about the United States is our school and homeless situation.  He is a doctor because he doesnt have to pay for school.  He also notes, that if your homeless in Luxembourg there are numerous programs to put you in housing and give you money.  He also noticed the amount of food we waste in this country while others in the SAME country are going hungry. 

In general i think i do my part.  I am a Vegan i try not to waste and i volunteer at animal rescues and a women's homeless shelter but i was embarrassed. 

How am i expected to have patriotism for a country that promotes selfishness.  I mean do we truely believe that the politicians have been working for the better of our country, instead of one upping each other.  If it was as easy as just work hard and everything will be fine, why arent we in a better situation.  Could you imagine the things that could be accomplished in this country if people mattered more than power.  What if college was free, education is wasted on the rich.  Think about it how many people go to an American born doctor in this country. 

We have people dying of curable diseases in our country.  This is a country of watch your own ass and fuck the rest.  Its like that situation in NY when a women was stabbed while everyone watched.  Well if your not rich in this country your the woman and everyone else is watching you die.

Even the people of Germany pay reparations to their Jewish victims. We stole a whole fucking country butchered a people and dragged another race onto our shores and these people still live in poverty.  Take a minute to look up the state of Native Americans in this country, they dont even get government aid.  I dont say that ancestors of slavery should get checks but what wrong with building up impovished areas, this country did get years of free labor and land. Unless u think a Casino is good payment for genocide.

At what point do we realize that other countries do it better.  We are no longer the best country in the world, we just throw the most tantrums and are avoiding the unavailable numbers on our caller idea bc we owe money to everyone. 

Other countries, have universal heathcare, free college, lower poverty rates, lower incarceration, smarter people and care for the citizen of their country.  So i ask at what point are you embarrassed?

Friday, August 19, 2011

Caesar is Gangster!!!

This is my current thumbs up movie.  It is just amazing and the CGI creatures are beyond perfect.  I understand that i am a little bias due to my Peta Membership and creepy love of animals but it was a great story and really well done.  I would say a def must see.

Y So Busy... Type A?

Litigation Legal Secretary
Overnight Volunteer at Women's Homeless Shelter
Healthy Workout Regimine
Animal Rescue Volunteer
Soon to be Committee Member with Boy and Girl Club
Soon to be Team Leader for Homeless Walk-a-thon
Healthy Social life
Writing a Book
In a Book Club
Writing a Blog
New Vegan
Owner of Mr. Reilly
5 Nieces
A good friend to good people

Who needs sleep lol

Kill Yourself Please and Thank You

Current list of people that should grace death with their presence.

1. Gum Slingers

Let me just say that i hate chewed up gum.  Like more than Glenn Beck hates black people. I loath that people cant keep their bacteria in their mouth.  Its disgusting so in accordance with this.  If you are disgusting enough to have an issue with finding a trash can when your done chewing and think its okay to stick on  stuff so someone can come along an accidently get caught up in your DNA... please kill yourself... it would seriously make the world a better place.  If you cant even throw your gum in the trash or shit even swallow it, then who know what else you'll leave laying around. I bet your the random used condom in the road culprit.   O yeah and if you leave your gum on a plate for your servers to clean, kill yourself twice, or in a humiliating way like a masturbation choke accident. 

Also, for people that smack their gum so loud i can barely think.  In general anything uber repetitive besides sex can be annoying.  So you and your cow mouth and kill yourself also, i don't like reading my book on the metro to your gum percussion, its gross and rude and distracting and i hope you chew gum n the bathroom bc now you have other people DNA in your mouth (gum collects things), chow down asshole.  I wish for these people to die final destination style... i hope you blow a bubble so big it pops in your face blinds you long enough for you to slip into the street and repetitively get hit by cars.


2. Barnes and Nobles

Who ever thought that putting Native American books in the same section as the very tiny AFRICAN-AMERICAN section please please kill yourself.  Its an insult to think that our plight is anything near the same.  I mean what the fuck. There are 8 thousand books on your damn American History section which lets be honest is mostly made up bullshit.  So take a few of the crap Thanksgiving books, Thomas Jefferson and his "love affair", Lincoln loves the slaves books and give Native Americans their own section.  Okay so were similarly because US Colonials fucked us in the ass with no lube, but that doesn't mean we should share a section. Its not a therapy session. Grouping us in one category is insensitive and just rude.  Shit i have more African American books in my house than B&N has in that section.  So I think whomever did this section should get Shot with an Arrow while being hanged, how's that for irony. 

Friday, August 5, 2011

Ducking Sandman

So after volunteering all night at the shelter and catching up with my 82% (Carlesa), tired doesnt even cover it.. so to fix that i have had:

1  Cup of Coffee
1  5 Hour Energy
1  Shot of Espresso

The way im going i should be up until Sunday.

I need the energy seriously, i am coming to terms with the fact that i will be signing one of my nieces up for Cheerleading, because that's what she wants.  But atleast I get to sign one up for Soccer and two more up for dance.  Should i just give all my money to them now lol, small price to pay for my nieces' smiles. 

TGI Mutha Fucking F!!!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

I'm a Fucking Lady!

I wonder if there is some biological/mother nature esk thing that make women think we have to give more.  Its not like we arent already expected to give up our lives for other human beings, and if we dont want to do that were broken.  Why does being an incubator make me more of a women, the cramps and bleeding arent enough?  But really, how many women do you know, pour blood sweat and tears into assholes that dont deserve it.  Im not saying some women arent as bad, in fact in a lot of ways im more like the assholes at this point than the ride or die women but its too much.

Basically, you want me to work, help maintain your manhood, carry a child for however long go through horrible pain and than name it after You... what the fuck is that.  You have an orgasm and hold my hand in labor while my body goes to shit and we make them a junior fuck that name them after me.  Then  you want me to work, take care of kids, maintain the household and all you do is mow grass and take the garbage out.  This day in age women are expected to do the "stereotypical" while still maintaining this "strong" women persona (be weak but not to much).  Even men in the 20s were considered great even if they hit you a little atleast they didnt do it in public and talk shit about you on twitter and facebook for friends family and co-workers to see.  Now im not saying a good man hits you and im not explaining that any further.

But back to it, women fight so hard to maintain these relationships with guys that will call you a bitch at a drop of a hat.  This whole music chairs marriage is shit too, you know if your man is a douche bag before you marry him dont act like its a surprise later.  If women, didnt expect to have to work so hard for everything all the time, and expect to give more than their significant other maybe we would recognize good men when they come by and not be so attracted to the regular, men around. 

I personally CAN cook and clean.  However, i prefer to make enough money for someone to do it for me and if that makes me less than a woman in your eyes i'm sure ill get over it while im getting paper.  I can be as cold as a lot of these men out here, but that's because life taught me early if you want something you go for it and if you work hard settling for less is not an option.  I also have the luxury of having good men in my life so i know what a good one looks like. 

There are good men around and If your a good women you deserve one.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Mini, 2 Sec Type of Soap Box

Last night i volunteered for the first time at a women's homeless shelter.  In just a few hours i learned a couple lessons.  First, i dont intend to but in my mind, i think i always generalized the homeless, which is crazy because with this economy so many people are close to the poverty line.  The women i helped last night were polite, sweet, most had jobs and were pretty amazing.  I have a feeling i will end up getting more out of this experience than i am giving.  I also learned that i will probably never consider my life hard or complicated ever again.  So i volunteer because i give what i have, which it time and there is no point in complaining about things if  your not going to work to make them better.  Okay [steps down from Soap Box] .....HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Dinner with Twin

Love dinners with the Twin, he is the perfect man for me except he likes Penis as much....MORE.... than i do.  I def learn new things every day.  For example did you know what a 68 was.  I mean i am a Scorpio so i figured i was well versed in these things... apparently a 68 means i own you one.  So i guess its like a raincheck on oral.  Sounds like a cop out to me.  I will agree its pretty clever.  I have been Twin Schooled.



Need Vegan Body Guards

So i have been a Vegan for about a month and i have noticed something kind of interesting.  Apparently just the mention of me being Vegan provokes some type of meat eater guilt or disdain.  I understand some people are pushy about there views but in my life, the meat eaters are the ones that attack me.

I specifically say that i am a vegan when asked and move on, i dont stand on a soap box and dont make faces at your food, truthfully i dont care what your eating. In my opinion it is hard for me to live this way and i love animals, i dont expect everyone to do it.  

Even when i was a vegetarian i got constant criticism over my eating habits.  I was able to fix this issue easily with one speech in my college freshman speech class but in life its not so easy.


I am just sick of the cliche, i like the way its tastes, its the circle of life (really?), its not natural, animals will die anyway. 


What it comes down too, is i really dont care what you eat, just like i dont care who you fuck or who you pray to, it is your life not mine.


So in short i will not tell people what happens to their food if they allow me silence on the issue while im enjoying my vegetables.  An animals life and torture is not worth my lunch, and if you dont agree fine, but its my lunch and my life.  If you feel guilty of the act of not knowing or not caring that's your problem but dont put it on me.