I am not going to write about goals, because i believe where i am right now is where i should be. I also think that the things i want to improve on can start tomorrow and no dropping of the ball is going to change that. So what's going on.
GOALS - These are not goal i have for myself they are goals people have for me. I think everyone i know has as some point decided i should be an attorney and while i agree with my friend that i am a law geek. I spend all day drafting documents, running attorneys schedules, researching, then i listen to podcasts like serial, read mystery based books and end my day watching criminal minds. Yes, i love the law its pretty interesting, but lets be honest, if i wanted to be a lawyer, wouldnt i be one by now. It is one thing to know i would be good at it but its quite another to want to be one. I enjoy my life i work hard at a job i love, i volunteer with good organizations, this job i love gives me a good amount of money that gives me the option to travel to other countries for 3 weeks at a time and explore. Why would i want to trade that for looking at 4 walls of an office, then a courtroom to be bogged down my crazy debt, what am i trying to prove? I appreciate the love and confidence but why does your goals for me have to make me a failure in your eyes.
WANTS - Why do people expect to have access to and a right for things they dont deserve. Why do people that get rid of me love to get jealous when i am with others. Why do people say they love and want the best for me but cant honestly say they messed up. Why am i told over and over again that i am enough and that i shouldnt change by people that couldnt love or handle me. Why do people that love me not want me but not want me to be with others. I make it a point not to go after things that are out of my reach. I dont chase things or people if they arent for me, if they dont want me. The idea of them is not enough. The best thing i learned a long time ago that i like to want the things that arent good for me. I am a rebel if you tell me not to touch the fire i will jump in. I find that being an adult means that you dont play with fire because it burns you for a lot longer then the secs of satisfaction that comes with the thrill.
