The problem with being the good anything is it doesnt get you anything but more shit. I have always been one of the hardest workers at any job i have been employed by and it only gets me more work and responsibility. The problem is people pick this trait out, as soon as i do what is expected at any volunteer organization, then the calls come... Stacie can you please, there is no one else, your such a big help, dont know what i would do without you. The problem is, most people are so mediocore at everything they do, that to even do what your suppose to makes you fucking amazing.
The same thing with friendships and relationships being the ride or die doesnt work. Everyone expects you to be there to never let them down, but they arent the same, so dont expect them to cover you when needed. I used to think it was just me that gave everything to friends that made me an after thought. Or work my ass off for a man that wouldnt know what to do with a good women if she was in his face for 6 years. The good thing is the few ride or dies i know get treated the same exact way.
Please do not confuse i have plenty of my issues. I have a horrible temper and i swear and im not lady like and sometimes ok most the time im just a bitch. However, when the chips are down im there even if it means shooting myself in the foot and i am always the last to give up on anything. I am the damn captain going down with the ship, while everyone is on a lifeboat telling me how brave i am.
So what is the solution to being the one that is trying to do the right thing. What makes it more crazy is im not even that good of a person. If you are not in my circle of friends and love then i probably dont care about you. And if you not an animal and dont need serious help im to busy caring about people with real problems. So what do you do, when you know most people will want from you what they cant bare to give.
My solution is at the end of the day, am i proud of the person i am, if i can say yes, then im going to keep doing me and try to get rid of the unworthy in the meantime which if a hard process that im still trying to remedy.
